THIS IS A CAT IN A HALLOWEEN COSTUME PLAYING WITH A TINY PUMPKIN THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
Let’s play a fun game called “we’re just friends but I’d fuck you if you asked”
*randomly feels pain on a random part of my body* oh god here we go im gonna die
'are you flirting with me or are you like this to everyone' a classic novel by me
Last night I went to Starbucks and when the guy finished my drink, he bent down and wispered, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.” I just smiled and took my drink, and while I was leaving I heard the other worker saying: “WOULD YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR INSPERATIONAL SHIT!” and the guy responded with, “Gurl, there is no way in hell I am letting you dull my sparkle.”
Oh my god.
ordering pizza online is the best technological advancement since the internet itself